For the second time in a month, yesterday, I was called upon to deal with a spider. A month ago I hesitated long enough in Old Testament Sunday School class the sister next to my wife took off her shoe and smashed it next to me. I had mumbled something about not really being into killing bugs. And yesterday the assistant principal who kindly shares her office with me found a spider. While the principal looked on I used a cup and sheet of paper to take it outside.

Rewind seven years ago and I was learning about Jainism in my world religions course at BYU. One teaching they particularly focus on (and share with many Hindu traditions) is “ahimsa” or non-violence, non-harm. Their ascetics will go so far as to where face masks to avoid breathing in any little bugs and they sweep the path before them to avoid harming or killing any living creature. I can remember sitting on my college bed, reading from the chapter when I noticed a little box elder bug crawling on me. It’s not hurting me, I figured, so I let it be. Since then that inclination has only grown.

As I sat back in my desk yesterday after releasing the spider I was thinking to myself about of all this and I realized that this had even older roots for me. Growing up I was hooked by Orson Scott Card’s books, first by Elder’s Game and eventually his Alvin Maker series. Alvin Maker is a fictionalized rhapsodizing of Joseph Smith’s story. Young Alvin has magically abilities, one of which is to communicate with insects. He tells them if they will stay out of sight he won’t harm them or seek them out. I remember finding that a powerful idea I as a child would often make similar compacts with insects in my head, telling them I didn’t want to harm them and they were welcome to my space as long as they stayed out of sight.

Leo’s character in Inception is correct, the teaching of ahimsa has grown like a virus (or, in a more pleasant connection, like a fruit tree). It is a small thing, at the end of the day, but it is awkward as a man in our culture to hesitate from crushing a bug at any given opportunity, so in a way it has felt like taking on a tiny new faith with a tiny new orthopraxy that makes me feel different, apart, and awkward.

I’d love to hear about any new tendancies or beliefs that have changed the way you act, perhaps even making you feel awkward or out of step.