I had to write sub plans. For the next two days. And it was the day before my 27th birthday. Yuck.

The exciting news, though, was I was being interviewed for an administrative internship in Granite School District on my birthday. And for some reason, that May 2nd evening, I felt a nagging, a nudging, a “prompting” in Mormon parlance to redo my resume. As I noted above, there were sub plans to write and a thousand other end-of-year tasks to complete. But I really felt a funny about it so I stayed up late and got up early the next morning and designed a radically different resume.

When I got the interview I discovered it was actually interviews. Four of them, only five minutes each. Like speed dating. They wanted me to introduce myself at every station, so I had little time to highlight anything substantive. But each of them got one of my shiny, glossy resumes, and nearly every station commented on it when I handed it to them.

Well, already long story short, I was offered an internship, for which I’m humbled, excited, and grateful. But a funny thing happened. When I met my new principal for the first time he commented on that resume, that it really caught his eye. And today at a professional development one of the interviewing principals caught up with me and said he really liked that resume and I even believe he said he still had it.

So perhaps in some small way that silly resume helped me lodge in their brain just enough in a field of well-qualifed candidates that I got the job.

I am grateful and troubled by it.

See, I am thrilled about the job and sincerely grateful for the nudge. But the fact is I live a comparatively carefree of life. I have had nearly every convenience, opportunity, and outcome that most people dream about: success in school, college, marriage, family, religion, health, and money. So in the litany of genuine human needs and sufferings my need for this internship should be fairly low on the divine list. The wimper of every man, woman, and child in Rwanada, for example, is infinitely more critical than my professional growth. Heavens, the needs of many of my neighbors here in Kearns far outstrip my professional advancement I would like.

See, I’ve gotten to the point where I have made piece with the problem of evil. Not that I am comfortable with evil and suffering or that I think it is always with us so let is not care. No, it just does not trouble my cosmic or religious world view: it is ours to ultimately metabolize and conquer. I believe in a weeping God. No, what is unsettling to me is the problem of good.

Why a prompting for my silly resume but not intervention for the abused, the injured, the mentally/emotionally ill, the lonely, etc.? To quote the song I wish Brett Dennen had sung at his concert last night: “In a world of suffering why should I be so blessed?”

Honestly, it bothers me. I do not have an answer.